The Onion Reports, ‘Underfunded Schools Forced to Cut Past Tense From Language Programs’

Faced with ongoing budget crises, underfunded schools nationwide are increasingly left with no option but to cut the past tense—a grammatical construction traditionally used to relate all actions and states that have transpired at an earlier point in time—from their standard English and language arts programs.
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Kindle 2.0

Among the new features on the latest version of the e-book reader:
“Like/As” button converts all cumbersome metaphors into easy-to-read similes.
For the complete Onion infographic, click here.